Planning Ahead

I'm not exactly sure what made me decide to prepare him for it, but before we went up for communion at church today,I reminded Nathan that he will receive a blessing where the man or woman will likely touch his head and say a few words. His response? "Good, so I won't say, 'Hey! Watch it' to them". Hahaha priceless!

Our First Trip To The Pool This Year

Nathan had a blast this week with his first trip to the pool this year. I had to share this picture because to me, he looks so much like my dad in it and generally I don't see my dad in him.

The First Time

This week held the first time I've ever felt helpless to help my little boy. We called an ambulance for me Monday night after a couple episodes of me laying on the couch feeling my body go completely numb- not being able to move or to speak no matter how much my mind was willing me to do both. I woke him to warn him that they were coming to take me to the hospital. I told him that I'd be okay and back home shortly. The look on his face, the tears in his eyes, this was the first time in 5+ years I've ever felt helpless to help him- to ease his fears, to wipe his tears, to make him feel safe and that everything would be okay. I hope I don't have to face another of these times for a long, long, long time, if ever, with my sweet little boy!

What Happened to My Child?

I knew the day would come. I've prepared many-a-preschool-parent for this very thing for years and years during my teaching career. It wasn't supposed to happen to me, though, or to my sweet little, gentle, loving boy. Someone flipped the switch and he has become alien-like to me. Where he used to love to snuggle me, he's frequently "too busy". Where he used to want me to go to college with him or go fight fires with him when he's an adult because he'd be too afraid to go without me, he is now able to do any and every little and big thing for himself, or so he says. Where he used to mess up words like "abracadabra" and the infamous "work to do" (haha) he now uses words like "ordinary" (even though he uses it wrong) and "unstable" (referring to a step stool). Where he used to want to marry me, he now has found a place in his heart for Alexis. "She'll still tell me what to do, like you do mommy, like a girl should, but she has really pretty eyes, and cute clothes, and I like the way she says my name," he told me. He's breaking away. He's preparing for the big step of kindergarten. I remind myself of the things I've told parents over and over throughout the years. Somehow, it being MY child, my one and only child, puts a whole different spin on this. Part of me is cheering him on from the sidelines, knowing that this is part of growing up and what I want for him. The other part is semi-heartbroken. I can't have those years back. I know many friends with good hearts, especially those steps ahead of me in life, will advise me that I will make it through this. Many will say things like "just wait until he's going to junior high" or "just wait until he's driving", etc. I know that they will all be well-meaning. Right now though, seeing as this is the first and only child I will ever have to exit preschool and enter this new phase, I think I'm allowed to mourn the passage of time a little.